What now?


The snow has very much arrived here. Scrapping the fluffy white stuff from my car in the early morning flurry was really no fun it has to be said but knowing it was on the cards did find me prepared. Which is definitely a bonus. Wrapped up against the elements wearing the greatest gloves ever… Actually its my ski gloves but still the greatest ever gloves. I swipe the white stuff from the windows as I defrost the icicles clinging to ever inch of my car. Eventually enough snow has been banished to allow me to get on my way. Carefully crawling along the icy road inching closer to the playground of fun which aways me at the end of my, usually short journey to work.

Still wearing my snow boots, opting for safety over vanity. The results of, well not the best footwear still imprinted on my brian. I trudge (carefully) with the throng of snowball throwing children into the warmth of the school building. Bracing myself for what awaits me.

All in all it has to be said I had a reasonable day today. That is if you don’t count guarding the classroom door to prevent an enthusiastic group of teens spilling out into the fresh flurry of snow, when they should have been working on the task in hand. personally I can’t think why anyone would want to spend any longer in the snow than absolutely necessary but hey that’s me. Aagin the broken bone fiasco all to soon to banish. Thankfully manage to get through the day without any mishap!!

Despite my reasonable day it has to be said I do sometimes wonder if I’m a good teacher. May be to question your ability is no bad thing. But I don’t know sometimes I just wonder.

I think this weather is making me sleepy. I’m pretty tired these days ( and permanently hungry) which isn’t good given I have so much to so do.

Looking back over past few months. Then try to look forward to the next few months. Not getting the job in Kula Lumpa was a bit of a blow. I mean everything around me is kind of settling down. So why then do I still feel like thee a hole. Something missing. I just pray the sperm donation works. Although I don’t know, everything has gone a bit quiet. I know they were away but every time I try to arrange a meeting they put it off. Well that’s how I feel. Probably just panicking. If for any reason this doesn’t work out well I just don’t know how  will get through it.

So  onward I plough headlong into the festive season. The pretty snowflakes falling from the sky bringing the season alive. I do love this time of year. Somehow it’s this time of year the emptiness engulfs me. The nativity, the Carol service, the sound of children playing singing loving the seasons festivities.

The hour is late and my eyes sting from well…They just sting

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About angejay18

I am 40 yrs old and i think could be going through a mid life crisis... but i'm not sure. I enjoy writing and am in the process of publishing my 2nd book
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