The social group

I’d like to say today was a good day, but well it wasn’t really a bad day but at the same time itwasn’t the worse day. I mean I didn’t crash my car, like i did a few weeks ago, I haven’t spent the day in hospital, like I had last week, my drier hasn’t blown up, like it did yesterday… So I don’t really know why I feel so crappy today things have been so much worse.
Although I am starting to think all this free time i suddenly have on my hands is very unhealthy. Oh did I mention the lack of employment earlier.
Thursday, social group night. I join the group in desperation really, mind you its a great group loads of stuff going on great people, its usually a good crowd and it gets me out. I nearly didn’t bother tonight but had promised to take a couple of students who are staying with me that I’d take them along to meet the group, they were looking forward to going to the pub, oh yea thats where we meet, the social group.
Thats where I met him, the guy who broke my heart. And I mean BROKE my heart, but in fairness I lost his baby!!! we had or as i thought we had reached an agreement since the break up to get along, be friends. I have tried so hard and yes I would rather be friends than not have him in my life. He is basically a good guy. He came with me to the hospital, as promised, although he didn’t come to my rescue when I crash my car, which is incidently written off, so then i wonder if this friend thing will work out??
Well for the last week I haven’t heard from him, not a thing nothing I wonder if he’s ok?
I had wonder if he’d be a ‘no show’ tonight, so can’t say I was tottally surprised whe as I suspected he was ‘a no show’, so why does it hurt so much? God only knows but it does.
Does it really get any better?? you know this feeling of total emptiness.
You might think this is going to be a boring whole does he love me blog, well its not, most definately not, the reason for my blog is at the moment well for about a year now bad things keep happening to me and no I’m not whining, I have wondered about that a few times but really they do the baby, the break up (x3), dad in hospital, the car, the hospital, the death of a friend, the drier blowing up, the job well lack of it, my ailing business, its like one thing after another and on top of that my crazy family were being even more crazy.
So from this grows my blog, i’ve decided to record my daily happening at the moment its so unreal i can bearly believe it most days. And maybe just maybe I can make sense of things.


About angejay18

I am 40 yrs old and i think could be going through a mid life crisis... but i'm not sure. I enjoy writing and am in the process of publishing my 2nd book
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